That’s right. I’m having an affair…with the treadmill. And I’m cheating on it with vegetable sushi. I just can’t help myself. Both are so darn good that they’ve coaxed me into a love triangle.
Mr. M introduced me to the treadmill about a year ago. I was reluctant to even be friends with it at first, but we run in the same circle, so we kept running into each other. Eventually, I gave in and started spending time along with it, and, well, it was all up-hill from there.
Our relationship has developed into a torrid affair. I think about it at night before I go to bed, and it’s the first thing I think about in the morning. I bought special clothes just for our time together, even though by the end of our trysts, I’m barely clothed.
Mr. M completely understands and supports my relationship with the treadmill. He doesn’t question my hesitation to join him for early breakfasts or community service projects. He doesn’t wonder why I have an expensive wardrobe of brightly colored bras and skirts, fancy socks, or a seemingly endless accumulation of spandex. And he doesn’t open the door to the room when we’re together, even if he hears loud music and heavy breathing.
J'aime mon tapis roulant <3
Years before I was introduced to the treadmill, I stumbled upon vegetable sushi. I was on yet another go-nowhere-date when we met at what quickly became “Our Place
.” At first, I was resistant to its flirting - the sweet smell of its pickled vegetables, sticky rice, and seaweed wrap, the creaminess of its avocado goodness, and the saltines of its friend and confidante – soy sauce. But eventually, I gave in. And once I put that first bite in my mouth, it was all over. I gobbled up my first plate and waited for more; I couldn’t get enough! I begged my friends and family to join me, driving the 30+ miles to meet my new love. Each trip was punctuated by the thrill of anticipation. Giggling ensued and smiles were abundant. Careful planning allowed for the most of our time together.
Mr. M hates everything I love about the tasty rolls, so my desire for vegetable sushi has gone underground. Because of the distance between us, I have to sneak visits, giving up what every amount of time I can between trips to other, more legitimate locations. Anticipation is still involved, and I still catch myself giggling and smiling uncontrollably as my car gets close to the exit that leads to my old friend, but the pleasure derived from my indulgence is tarnished with the knowledge that I’m cheating…on all the sweaty mornings the treadmill and I have spent together. To alleviate my guilt, I spend extra time with the treadmill when I get home, but not before I brush my teeth and take a shower.
Giddy with Anticipation